People Who Won't Transfer Memorials (moved from below to discussion)

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Brett Mollenhauer on November 10, 2009 at 3:12pm

That is rediculous. I am glad to say that I have not had any problems with people that have set up a memorial for my relatives. In fact, most of them have offered to transfer or just did it without being asked.

Permalink Reply by Nelda Tinker on November 10, 2009 at 10:33pm

I have run into very similar problems myself on FAG, I have found several ancestors of mine and my husbands and the person that has put up the memorial will admit they are no kin to them yet they refuse to transfer them, one even quoted his reason was because he had to many ppl "stealing" his photos?

Permalink Reply by Patty Wimpsett Killion on November 11, 2009 at 8:11am

Stealing his photos? Then why does he put them on FAG. It's the people like this with this kind of attitude....What does one have anything to do with the other? Now he keeps your ancestor's memorial page that he is no kin to.
And I know the rules FAG will give out the 4 generation dodah stuff, but most of us would like to go further out than that and get our aunts, uncles and cousins.
Shame on this person and others.

Permalink Reply by Regina Lynn Williams on November 11, 2009 at 6:36am

I must say, I take pix for FAG and add names. I would love to give over all of the pages I have made so the family can add that little something that makes it them. But I have also had someone take one of the pix off that I had added and then put it back on. But you know what? I don't care. They can have them because I know I done the work and seeing how many pix I can take isn't the name of my game. My game is to see how many people I can help through anything I do. Not just FAG. I hope you all have the luck to meet the right people on FAG and share you kind heart with them as some may not do the same to you. God Bliss you.

Regina Rickman Williams

Permalink Reply by Patty Wimpsett Killion on November 11, 2009 at 8:20am

Regina,
Thank you for your hard work and dedication. I thought this is the way FAG is supposed to work. Why do others take pictures and build monument pages to others that are not their ancestors if not to transfer to a loved one that wishes to add them to their family?

Permalink Reply by Poppy Gladstone on November 11, 2009 at 10:15pm

I had the same problem several months ago. I found my husband's grandmother's older brother's gravestone was shown on Find A Grave. He was killed during WWI and buried in either France or Belgium (I forgot which). I wrote to ask if the photographer would transfer it to me. I also explained what his relationship was to my husband. I received a message from him that he did not transfer gravesites, but would not explain why. I then wrote back asking him if he would add the following information that included where he was born, his parents, where he had lived, and where he was working when he signed up for WWI. He answered by saying he had done some more research and added it to the site. What he added was military information, not the family information that would personalize the memorial. I thought for a while and wrote back sending the Memorial #s of each of his parents and asked if he would at least add this info. This he added.

Rules are rules; why doesn't he follow them?

Permalink Reply by Patty Wimpsett Killion on November 12, 2009 at 10:20am

Poppy, I think some of these people on FAG are sooo selfish. To them it has nothing to do with allowing people to hold their ancestors close to their hearts and allowing us to more or less create a cemetery that holds our family. This man is too busy banging on his chest saying "Look what I have done....how many family transfers can I turn down today?" You were the bigger person in this case and only thought about your husband's ancestor. You wanted to make sure that he atleast had all the correct information on his memorial page.
Good for you. The rules, per FAG is that we are only entitled to 4 generations back and that is only grandparents. Easy for them to monitor....bad for us.
I'm sorry for your loss.

Permalink Reply by Mary Trogg on November 12, 2009 at 12:35pm

The transfer policy is not "I should be able to have all my relatives transferred." It is DIRECT ancestors (of you or your spouse) back to the 4th generation (great-grandparents). A husband's grandmother's brother is not within the guidelines but would be nice. Poppy, in your case, you had relevant information to add and most of it was added. Most people requesting transfers outside the guidelines do not.

However, exceptions have been made. email info@findagrave and make your case. Include all relevant links, id numbers etc. Report steps you have taken to have the memorials transfered. Be patient. You may not get what you want, but then again you just may. Refusing to transfer within the guidelines because a photo may be stolen is outrageous. Report him.

Patty, people take photos for lots of reasons. Some like cemeteries, others want to preserve the information before the stones are unreadable or destroyed. Others want to record their families. But, keep this in mind. Find A Grave is NOT a genealogy site. There are other sites that do a much better job of recording and sharing family history. FAG is a burial record site. That is why you may or may not "get" all your relatives. I've entered memorials for third and fourth cousins because I have the information. That doesn't mean I will hold them hostage because I entered them. I entered them because I found the grave.

Although it would be nice to have all of our ancestors under personal management it will never happen. Can anyone even say they knew their ggrandparents or second and third cousins? If you can, I say ask for the transfer. If not, be thankful someone walked a cemetery and posted the information. Don't condemn them for refusing to transfer.

Just my rambling 50 cents worth.

BTW, still trying to get my great-grandmother transferred from a high number contributer who refuses transfers. And yes, I did know her.

Permalink Reply by Patty Wimpsett Killion on November 12, 2009 at 1:52pm

Mary, I, myself have nothing but praise for the people that I have worked with on FAG. The great people who have transferred my ancestor memorial pages to me have been more than kind. In one case the person has even gone back to the cemetery twice to take more pictures for me. Then there are the people who go out and and take photos for who, what can I say about them? These people take their time and effort to walk a cemetery just to take a picture for me. They are wonderful!!!!
However, when my friend was not transferred her 1st cousin by this member who was not even family. I got very upset. Then I learned of the rules of FAG...the 4 generation do-dah thing. I thought what? I was so close to my cousins growing up and we didn't even live in the same states. I knew of some kids in my neighborhood growing up that were just as close to their cousins as their brothers and sisters.

But, what the hey. Let them keep the memorials. However, Please don't tell me not to condemn them for refusing to transfer to a family member. That I will do and continue to do. Because it is wrong!!!!!!

Permalink Reply by RL (Bob) Nielsen on March 30, 2010 at 5:15pm

Mary,

You stated "Find A Grave is NOT a genealogy site. There are other sites that do a much better job of recording and sharing family history." What other sites were you referring to? Ones like Ancestry.com? Or are there other comprehensive Web sites out there that do a good job of databasing cemetery listings?

Permalink Reply by Mary Trogg on April 19, 2010 at 9:47am

Sorry for the delay in replying, try Rootsweb to post a tree, Familysearch and Footnote for records. Check out Cyndi's list for thousands of links to research and tree sites.
Some of these sites are free, some not. Ancestry will always be the granddaddy of them all and I think a Rootsweb tree is automatically posted to Ancestry.
Haven't found many other cemetery sites, but then I'm not looking for them. USgenweb has some transcribed on their sites, but F.A.G. is the most comprehensive I've found. Veterans are tracked by the VA. I find it easier to do a Google search on the name I am looking for.

Permalink Reply by CRISTY SHEEHAN on December 3, 2009 at 8:46pm

I have an idea that might work. You write to this person and say it is your grandmother, grandfather or whatever would be the closest relative and then once it is transferred to you.............you can transfer it to your friend. I had a similar thing happen and had a memorial transferred to me and in turn it was transferred to a closer relative. It just might work. If you don't want to use your name, I will.lol Let me know. How will that lady know what you are saying isn't so? I guess it is a wee bit dishonest but I am sure the good Lord would agree.

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