The Genealogy & Family History Social Network

FindAGrave Addicts

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For people who love FindaGrave.com, especially taking volunteer photos!

Website: http://www.findagrave.com
Members: 806
Latest Activity: Nov 10

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Started by Bonnie Skiles Rost. Last reply by Michael F. Kibel Feb 12, 2015. 3 Replies 0 Likes

Started by David. Last reply by Janet Kruger Mar 4, 2014. 54 Replies 0 Likes

Started by Helen Leggatt May 15, 2012. 0 Replies 0 Likes

Comment

Comment by Julia Mitchel on March 20, 2012 at 10:57am: Bob is correct in that "it's so easy to misjudge someone when we haven't walked a mile in their shoes?

I am a F.A.G. volunteer because I enjoy walking cemeteries and viewing the interesting stones, family history, and helping people put the pieces of their families together. Someday someone will do me the same favor.

I do this for ME, not for thank you's.

Comment by Bob Rowe on March 20, 2012 at 10:44am: I thought of another reason people may not have said thank you. There are many times that I am going in five different directions in this very busy world. I know for a fact that there are emails in my inbox that need a response and sometimes I forget all together unless they ping on me again. I hope that I have thanked everyone who has ever provided a marker photo for me over the years, but there is a chance that I haven't. Almost without exception we are all living busy lives and forget to do some things. It is easy to misjudge someone when we haven't walked a mile in their shoes.

Comment by Eric Andrist on March 20, 2012 at 10:19am: I'm not saying a thank you isn't appropriate....it is. But to EXPECT a thank you and then bitch about it when you don't get it, negates any good deed you've done. Perhaps you should contact the person with your "thank you" rules before you offer to help them and tell them that if they don't thank you, you're not going to help them. That way, you'll be alleviated of any upset you might cause yourself when they don't thank you.

For me, doing a good deed far outweighs the need to hear someone thank me. I just don't need credit in order to do something good.

Comment by Leonard Smith on March 20, 2012 at 9:49am: I don't think expecting civility and courtesy is unreasonable. I may be flawed and unreasonable. I will do for others and expect nothing but if you ask me for help and then lack the good manners to say thanks I will not help you again.

When a person posts a photo request they are hoping someone will take time and expend an effort to fulfill that request. A thank you is appropriate.

Comment by Eric Andrist on March 20, 2012 at 9:24am: Not everyone was raised like you, Leonard. You're putting unrealistic expectations on others and then festering about it.

I agree that it's nice for people to be grateful when others do for them, but I just find it bizarre that anyone EXPECTS to be thanked for doing a good deed because of the way they were raised. I was raised, not unlike Bob Rowe, to do for others with no expectations of a thanks or to be given back in return. That's the true nature of giving. If you expect something in return, it's a barter, not a gift.

Comment by Leonard Smith on March 20, 2012 at 9:19am: I have added many photos to memorials others have created and I expect no thanks for that. I suppose it is part of my obsessive/compulsive personality to do so. Much of the reason I take photos and create memorials is pay back for the work others have done that has benefited me. I have filled in numerous details in my family history because of what others have done.

I always thank people for favors they do for me. It is how I was raised. It is disrespectful to do otherwise.

Comment by Bob Rowe on March 20, 2012 at 9:05am: I believe I have been thanked by everyone. But, I don't keep track. I have provided photos for more memorials without a request than with a request. I feel that if someone took the time to create a memorial, I could take the time to add a photo to it. Sometimes the 'owner' sees the photo a year or two afterwards and says thanks.
God has given us gifts and abilities to help others. It is icing on the cake if we get thanked for it, but we are also called to do things randomly and anonymously. God knows we have done these things. That is all that counts for me. These are the treasures I store up in heaven.

Comment by Eric Andrist on March 20, 2012 at 8:51am: I think it's disrespectful as well, but I also think it's tacky to point out to the world that you haven't been thanked. If you're truly doing a favor for someone, you should expect NO thanks, and then be happy when you do receive it. Pointing out other people's disrespectfulness is just petty and negates the goodness you did in the first place.

Comment by Eric Andrist on March 20, 2012 at 8:50am: You can't go by the record number of a memorial to know how many records they have because of all the records that have been deleted over time. The way the admins ban people for the smallest infractions and delete hundreds of their memorials will throw off the count. So the record number will always be higher than the actual number of memorials.

Comment by Leonard Smith on March 20, 2012 at 8:49am: I am a believer in courtesy and I am more than happy do take photos and even do free additional research for people. I consider it disrespectful not to thank someone for anything they do for me, especially when it is done gratis. I expect the same courtesy from others.