Defining Today's Family

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Barbara Zack on December 10, 2009 at 10:52am

I see this point brought up often, but I think it is asking too much of a genealogy program. Genealogy is about tracing bloodlines. Legacy, and other genealogy programs, handle that situation just fine. For instance, say you never knew your biological father and were raised by a wonderful step-father who you adore. Certainly that is vitally important to you and probably many other members of your family. In your mind he is your "real" father. You would want yourself placed in his household, understandably. But from a genealogical perspective, it is still your biological father who is the most important. Your step-father's ancestors have nothing whatsoever to do with you, genetically. It makes no sense to put yourself in his line. Genealogy is not about who raised you, it is about who contributed to your genetic makeup. There is nothing sentimental about genealogy. You don't get to pick your ancestors. Clearly the person who actually raised a child probably contributed far more to who that person is today than the biological parent they barely knew, but that fact is irrelevant from a genealogical perspective.

What I think we need is a different type of program for some of the issues that you bring up here. It would be nice to have a tree, reports, etc. that reflect the real life relationships that families have today, but it would have to be separate from the trees and reports generated by a genealogy program. In the meantime, the only realistic way to handle this issue in a program designed to trace genetic lines is to add notes and stories that reflect the special relationships that are not made clear by viewing the biological relationships.

Permalink Reply by William Douglas on December 10, 2009 at 11:05am

I suspect that the research of pure genealogy may become more complex in future generations, as our blood lines become less clear through the use of - how can I put this gently? - science in place of sex as a means of producing children.

If we do not start recording the details accurately now, we are just putting off, I would think, what must be done sometime.

Permalink Reply by Ron Ferguson on December 10, 2009 at 2:37pm

Whilst Barbara gives an accurate definition of genealogy, not all people are strict genealogists and some give a greater weight to *Family* Trees. I see nothing wrong in this, it's not my interest, but I'm happy to accept that others may feel differently.

William's points regarding differing ways of conception are very valid, but, at least in the UK, it is not possible at present for a test-tube baby to know the absent parent(s), although there are signs that this may change. Legacy is quite flexible on many of these points as it is perfectly acceptable for a kid to have more than one set of parents, and the relationship to each recorded in the Childrens' Settings (right click on the kids' names).

Permalink Reply by George Geder on January 31, 2010 at 9:13pm

The line has been drawn in the sand!
Am I a genealogist or a family historian?

I prefer to be considered a family historian. That said, I consider Legacy 7.0 as my 'family history' software.

In the African American and other communities, the genealogical 'blood line' trail can go cold very quickly. As quick as two generations!

I don't think we necessarily need a different type of program; after all Legacy 7.0 is just a database dealy. It could easily called a family history program. With some user customization, it could become an automobile history program. Now I'm being silly as I digress.

Seriously, we need to think about what it is that we are doing - and how we perceive Family and Ancestry. If one was adopted or had a step parent early in their childhood, then they had the influence and spirit of that ancestry placed upon them. Their world view is shaped by that ancestry.

I'm a step-parent. Recently, my step-daughter commented on how she gets her feisty spirit from her mom and her patience from me. My Ancestors, I'm convinced as much as I'm convinced that there's a GOD, must be proud of me and claim my step-daughter as one of their descendants!

If that is irrelevant from a genealogical perspective, then I have to dis-connect from Genealogy and its pertaining to bloodlines. To suggest that steps, adopteds, test-tubed, gays and blendeds have no place in a genealogy software program is reprehensible. I speak for myself.

Peace,
"Guided by the Ancestors"

Permalink Reply by Miriam Robbins Midkiff on February 1, 2010 at 12:51am

Two-and-a-half years ago, the geneablogger community had a conversation about this: genealogist vs. family historian. We came up with the idea that we are genea-historians (http://creativegene.blogspot.com/2007/08/genealogist-vs-family-hist...). We use genealogy (the research and analysis steps) to track those who belong within our family tree (biological, step, adoptive, blended, gay, and other inclusive terminology) to tell their stories. Names, dates, and places are little more than a telephone book. Stories, influences, patterns, traditions, cultures, individuals, families, groups, neighbors, communities...that is what makes us keep coming back for more and what motivates us to keep digging when we come up against brick walls.

Permalink Reply by George Geder on February 1, 2010 at 11:04pm

Miriam,

Genea-historians sounds good to me!

The software companies should recognize that their potential customers are looking at genealogy in a new and fresh way. They should gear their next releases to accommodate these new trends in family research.

I have stated on numerous occasions that Legacy 7.0 is my preferred software.
However, if I find that it cannot handle the 'new' family dynamics, I'll be forced to find one that does.

Peace,
"Guided by the Ancestors"

Permalink Reply by Norm Weston on December 10, 2009 at 10:54am

There is a facility when you click on marriage information to change the wording of such things as Husband and Wife to Partner or whatever.

Permalink Reply by William Douglas on December 10, 2009 at 10:58am

So there is!

Thank you

Permalink Reply by M. Denise Golding on December 17, 2009 at 6:04am

I have moved from Personal Ancestral File to Legacy (which I love), and hadn't realised that this could be a problem. In PAF there is provision for multiple parents, which means that you can actually trace biological, step, adoptive etc. family lines. It just depends on which set of parents you chose to display. Your query made me go in and check out Legacy, and yes, you can do the same thing. In Legacy, you click on the icon at the far right under the individual box (same line as the multiple spouses, notes, sources etc.) and you can chose to add additional parents and then which parents you wish to show - same type of thing. So, you can actually have multiple lines going back from the one individual (if that is what you want), and each can be noted as to the specific relationship to both father and mother. You can chose from adoptive, biological, challenged, disproved, foster, guardian, step - and if the one you want isn't there you can add it. And you can always add information in the notes. Hope this helps.

Permalink Reply by William Douglas on December 17, 2009 at 8:56am

Thank you!

Permalink Reply by Ellen M (Procopio) Kramer on December 26, 2009 at 12:04am

I find this a little odd to discuss because my one line has so much of this forever. There are constantly out of wedlock births with the parents sometimes marrying and I can enter the other parents' name and click the box "this couple never married" in the marriage view. I can also note step-families. However, if the person doesn't marry, such as same-sex situations, I make no note of it in my genealogy. That would be as nutty as noting all of every ancestors' boyfriends and girlfriends before and between marriages. If the couple only lives together, I also do not note the day they set up housekeeping as any kind of significant event. It's of no significance; however, births from that relationship are significant as they represent bloodlines. I only note marriages as Barbara noted because I'm only concerned with bloodlines and marriages, not every relationship that an individual had. If a person is a father figure and the couple never married, essentially for genealogical purposes, it's about the same as Big Brothers/Big Sisters since there was no marriage or blood bond. It is possible in the General Notes though to mention that without as mother/father figure or due to the marriage breakup or lack thereof, the person who took on that role for x number of years or lasting till death or a special event was so-and-so. However, even in intact families, I have seen people outside the family become a stronger influence than the actual family members in varied situations. Just talk to people who are dysfunctional and have an awesome child or talk to people about the black sheep child who has cut him/herself off from the family. Usually, it's just not necessary to mention those influences.

Permalink Reply by Ian Clements on December 29, 2009 at 12:22am

I take on board what Ellen has said, but in my case I have very detailed social/environmental notes within my Legacy database. I am an ex computer programmer and do NOT discard or ignore any relevant information on the 'family' or 'individual' [I have been told I am a bit anal-retentive in that regard :)) ] but it certainly helps to define why people and families make some of the life decisions they do. My concept of 'genealogy' is a little more flexible than the strict definition of it - but in the end it is up to the individual as to what they feel best meets their needs, in the same way that the different genealogy software does. I use both Legacy and RootsMagic and find them both accommodating to my way of genealogical research and recording.

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