A Family

The next few years were spent getting to know people.  There was the day my dad's older sister came to the house.  She was the first one we connected with.  She lived only two hours away.  She didn't tell us her last name or any personal information.  Everyone was scared.  What will they think of us?  Will they want something from us?  And then she walked in the door and 45 years of separation started to melt away - awkwardly at first, but then in front of me I saw a 14 year old girls who had raised her 5 year old brother and all the others.  A little girl who took the little ones to the welfare office to up food in a small wagon.  A little girl who was allowed to get the 5 year old and 3 year old ice cream the day before they left the orphanage.  A little girl who carried pictures of them for years because it was all she had left of them.  But now they were adults learning how to navigate this new relationship after 45 years.

And then there was the day we arrived in Minnesota (Jeff's home state) to meet him and Terry.  The plan was to meet at the hotel.  Would they recognize each other?  We walked into the lobby from our room and there was a thin, grey-haired man standing at the desk.  Picture the cheesiest, slow motion movie scene you've ever seen.  They turned and looked at each other.  The physical similarities were almost unnerving.  The look in their eyes was the same.  I'm honestly not sure I had ever seen my dad cry before.  On one hand, I wish I have a video of it.  On the other, I feels so lucky to have such a private memory that so few share.

And so the years plod on.  I met cousins, got married, had a baby, met cousins' babies and we have built a family.  Not all are as close as others and I think there have been some hurt feelings along the way.  Some don't have any memories of their time before adoption, most wish they didn't.  Some aren't comfortable with each other.  Some are worried that they are not as important as they used to be.  Isn't that what happens in families?  What a beautiful word that I never imagined could mean so much.  We are truly a family again.