The Harry Stiles Puzzle

There are many secrets in my Stiles line. Some I will mention here as pieces to the puzzle.


Harry R. Stiles :
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LDS International Gene Index
Henry R. Stiles born 1870 in NJ to Joseph Stiles and Susan A. Stiles
Susan A. Stiles born 1836 married Joseph Stiles 1869 in NJ

I don't know if Joseph and Susan are Harry's parents. The dates seem to fit.
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1870 Federal Census Blackwoodtown
Henry Stiles; 5 months; born NJ
also listed:
Henry Reed; 41; NJ
Sarah Reed; 40; NJ
Susan Stiles; 34 (c.1836) ; NJ

Why were Susan and Harry living with the Reeds in 1870 and where was Joseph?
If he were in the Civil War, is it possible he was still away in 1870?
Were the Reeds related?
Family tradition is that Harry's real parents were unknown and that he was adopted. Looking at the 1870 census, obviously at least his mother was known.
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1880 Federal Census Transcript

Deptford, NJ
Henry Reed 52 NJ laborer
Sarah E. Reed 51 NJ
Henry Reed 10 NJ
Irene Barker 6 NJ

North Plainfield, Somerset, New Jersey
Joseph Stiles; 36 (c. 1844); born NJ; father born NJ; mother born NJ
Susan A. Stiles; Wife; 44 (c. 1836); born NJ; both parents born NJ
Henry R. Stiles; son; 10 (1870); born NJ
William Stiles; son; 7; NJ

I don't know if this is the same family. The dates fit too well to not be.
What happened to Joseph, Susan and William between 1880 and 1900? (the eternal gene question - damn fire)
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1900 Federal Census Mantua
Harry Reed; born Jan 1871; age 28 (*note census was taken in June - anyone born Jan 1871 should be 29*); born NJ; father born NJ; mother born NJ
listed as living with mother Sarah E.

I am as sure as I can be that Harry Reed IS Harry Stiles. Why is he listed as Harry Reed and as Sarah Reed's son?
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1910 Federal Census Mantua
Henry Stiles; 39 (1871); married 3 yrs (1907); born DC; father born DC; mother born DC
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1915 NJ State Census Mantua
residence - Mantua
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1920 Federal Census Mantua
Henry R. Stiles; 50 (1870); born NJ; father born US; mother born US
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1930 Federal Census Mantua
Henry R. Stiles; 59 (1871); age at marriage 37; born US; father born US; mother born US
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Death cert. states the following :
Harry R. Stiles
Birth - January 1871 PA; father - John Stiles born PA; mother - Sarah (unknown) born USA
Death - July 10, 1946 Mantua, NJ