The Politics of Mailing Lists and How to Survive...

Mailing lists can be a terrific way of gathering information and sharing stories with others. Mailing lists allow you to keep up to date with advancements in a field, events, and education. Sometimes though, someone or a group of people on the mailing list begin souring the list with drama. Some people just thrive on conflict. A fact that is difficult to escape in life, but one that is controllable, especially on a mailing list.

Recently, a professional list for genealogy dealt with conflict among members. One member submitted a post to the group that borderline slandered an educational institution and the administration of the institution. The post was not based on fact, but speculation. Some members who had experience with the institution posted their disgust of the post and stated facts about the institution. This turned the list into a battlefield. A couple members took the side of the original poster, while others took the side of those who disputed the original post. Other members became enraged with the tone of the list and postings that they held a one week protest, removing themselves from the list for a week. The protest was intended to show the membership and board of the mailing list that members would not tolerate such conflict on the list or tones in postings.

Mailing lists, like life, will always have conflict. The key to surviving a mailing list and meeting your goals for being on a particular list is to remember that conflict will exist. Conflict is a natural human event that can change the way people think. Even if the original poster did not change his or her mind about the institution or the administration someone on the list most likely did or learned from the opposing side the value of the institution and the administration. Conflict can sometimes be messy and grown adults can behave like toddlers. One professional on the list ended up making a major blunder when the individual compared the original poster to someone with a mental disorder. Any point the individual hoped to rely in the rest of the individual’s post was completely lost with this personal attack on the original poster.

Surviving a mailing list when conflict appears can be simple if you remember a few important things about human behavior.

1. Judgment is useless. To survive a mailing list with conflict, try not to judge other members. You are seeing only a glimpse of the poster’s opinion. Some people do not explain their point eloquently or as well as they would hope to, while others just don’t care. To judge the poster is a waste of your time.

2. Discuss points. Discuss the points, not the poster. If you believe someone’s point is off the mark, say so with facts to back you up or your reasons for believing their point is wrong. Do not attack the poster. Do not say the poster you disagree with has a severe mental disorder or some other personal attack on the poster. A mailing list is not the Jerry Springer Show. A mailing list is not a place to create drama for your own amusement. If you disagree with someone, remember that you are disagree with their post, not their entire humanity.

3. Netiquette. Netiquette is a term used to define how people should behave online, one’s online etiquette. Netiquette is a must on mailing lists. Do not assume a poster is trying to offend the mailing list without first asking politely what their point is. Remember that you cannot define someone’s tone by reading their words, unless they are using descriptive words that leave little room to doubt their point. The original post on the list in the example I described above did just that, leaving little room to doubt the points as the poster used language that was borderline slanderous and let his or her feelings be known to all. Most of the people who replied to this poster did not attack the poster though, they attacked the points, which created a discussion.

4. Allow for discussion. When people disagree on a list this does not suddenly mean that World War III has broken out. Do not fuel the fire by starting to attack people. Discussion of points, even when borderline slanderous and harsh, can be a positive event for the list and for members to learn from. Creating a dialogue between members of opposing viewpoints is natural and should be encouraged. We can learn from conflict, as long as the conflict does not turn into an array of personal attacks.

5. Allow for different personalities. The rare individual will get along well with every personality type. Allow for different personalities to be present on the list, even if you cannot stand those personalities. Every human being is different and learns from different types of people and situations. If you try to have someone removed from a list or start a campaign against them just because you disagree with everything they say you are taking away the ability for others to learn from that individual.

Not every member of a mailing list will remember their netiquette or will even agree with this blog. Some want their mailing list to stay on point always, never have conflict, and have everyone agree. These expectations are unreasonable and do not allow for growth. As most genealogists understand, if a tree is not growing, the tree will die. Surviving a mailing list comes down to remembering that everyone is different, everyone learns differently, and not everyone has to agree on the best way to research, the institutions furthering genealogical education, or the vast amount of websites available to researchers.

If you find that you have belonged to a list for several years and that list has grown to have goals that no longer fit your goals, leaving the list is okay. You do not have to belong to the same mailing list forever. Sometimes we outgrow mailing lists, just like we can outgrow the people in our lives. To expect everyone to get along all the time on a mailing list is like expecting the sun to rise at the same time every single day all year long. It’s not going to happen. You can avoid the politics and survive a mailing list if you remember the five points above and remember to just let people be human, because no one lives a life without mistakes. How would we learn?