ADVICE NEEDED

I have a dilemma that I am not exactly sure how to ask for help with! It goes through my mind pretty much every day, but I still haven't come up with a solution. I thought perhaps suggestions from others might get me past this 'solid wall'.

I started researching my family tree after my father passed away last year. How I wish I would have started before....but best not to dwell on regrets. One of the 'stories' that my father was told by his mother, and then told his children, involved his great grandparents, my great great grandparents, and their immigration to America from Germany. As a way to connect to my father's past I started to investigate the 'stories' and came upon one that has plagued me. With your permission I would like to relate the story and see if anyone can help me decide what I should do next.

My great great grandparents, August Nordmeyer and Luise Gerke Brunke Nordmeyer immigrated to America in 1909 with three of their children. (Their fourth child was born in America.) My great grandmother was their third child and was only a year old when they arrived in New York. It came about that two children were left behind in Germany, a girl and a boy that were from my great great grandmother's first marriage to Mr. Brunke. It took me a long time to unravel truth from fiction, and relations from non-relations. They listed an August Brunke as their contact in America. Turns out that August Brunke was the brother of Luise's first husband. The two left behind children would then be the nephew and niece of this August Brunke in America.

It really bothered me that these children were not allowed to come to America with their mother and half siblings. So I set about to see why they might have not been allowed to come. I am still not satisfied with the answers that I have been told/uncovered, but then, I am also not well versed in the German culture like I should be. I was told that I think like an American :), and so I do, much to my frustration at times. If only I could slip back in time and be a witness......

My dilemma is not really why these two children were not allowed to come with their parents/siblings, but how I might figure out who they were, and who their descendents are? You see, I have no idea what their fathers name was. I can't find it anywhere. I obtained my great great grandparents marriage record (that gave another interesting spin on things), and I have my great great grandmother's birth record, but there was not a notation for her first marriage. She was not married to this man for very long before he died. The story is that he committed suicide. I have not been able to verify that, but it is curious that my great great grandparents were married six days before she gave birth to her third child. It has been suggested that this child was actually the child of the first husband and that my great great grandfather sort of 'rescued' my great great grandmother.

I really want to find out who those two children were and who their descendents are so that I can 'give that' to my grandmother before she dies. She is in failing health and became even worse after my father (her son) died. Talking about the past and all of the stories that she has 'preserved' in her mind are what bring a little joy into her life. Do you have any suggestions as to how I might go about figuring out who these children were? I know what part of Germany the family comes from and have printed off addresses from the phone book with the same last name, but I was told it would be very bad to write to these people seeking information. If I understand correctly, it could be a very insulting thing to do and I could ruin my chances of finding what I seek. That is something I do not want to do. I am stuck!!!!!

Thank you for 'listening' and for whatever advice you can give!

Jennifer