People Who Won't Transfer Memorials (moved from below to discussion)

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Patty Wimpsett Killion on December 4, 2009 at 5:01pm

Hi Christy,

That's actually a very good idea, but I just don't want to put anymore time into this than I already have. If these people can sleep at night with a clear heart and know what they do families....then bless them.
Thank you so much for the idea and the offer of help.

Permalink Reply by Raymond Fuller on December 20, 2009 at 8:37am

I live in the Durham NC area and will be happy to assist anyone I can with local photographs for genealogy, etc.
Ray

Permalink Reply by Delores Mayfair on May 27, 2010 at 11:04am

Which is why we are very leery of transfers.

Permalink Reply by Debbie Allen on January 10, 2010 at 1:37pm

you can write to Find A Grave and ask them to help you with this. I had to do this and I did get my family member that way.

Permalink Reply by Victoria Wiemer on February 7, 2010 at 12:57pm

Your friend can create her own memorial page despite the already existing one. I know that Find a Grave prefers one memorial only, but these things happen. Other people are not in our control. Being upset about another person's behaviors is really wasted effort. Life is too short, as should be very evident by the existence of Find a Grave and its rapid expansion in such a short period of time. Hope this helps.

Permalink Reply by Sherry Hightower on March 26, 2010 at 12:13pm

This is an issue that I think was not foreseen by the powers that be at F-A-G. Their focus was documenting graves and they didn't understand the potential for genealogy. (That is amazing to me.) I think they should change their policy to something along the lines of the 4-generation rule where the original creator IS related to the person in the memorial, however, when any relative comes forward and request the transfer,the memorial should be tranferred, if the original creator IS NOT related directly...meaning the spouse of a direct kin should not be able to get the memorial if the creator is direct kin.

It sounds complicated but isn't. If I create a memorial, since I photograph many cemeteries, and any kin, any degree, asks for a transfer, I give it. Why not? The person isn't in my family after all, I just took the picture. If I create a memorial for a cousin but someone closer in line wants it, I give it. Why not? They are closer!

I really think to true issue here is greed, power & control and mean-spiritedness.

Permalink Reply by Patty Wimpsett Killion on March 26, 2010 at 5:32pm

I totally agree with you!!!

It is no longer an issue with just my friend. I myself, Have run into this several times now. The people that are holding my ancestor's memorial pages from me do not even have a photo of the gravestone yet and the sad thing is as long as that person holds on to my family it will not have the correct information nor the photo. It's like they hold the family member ransom. This one person used all the information I gave him to verify that my family member actually belonged to me, updated the page and then in the end was rude enough not to email me.

Your plan is not complicated at all, however FAG WILL NOT stand up to these people and impliment it.

Permalink Reply by Melissa Doum on March 30, 2010 at 9:06pm

I created a memorial for my great grandparents and then asked for a photo of their site. Apparently they weren't buried where I was told they were but someone was nice enough to search for them anyway. I thought that was very sweet. But then that person created another memorial for them in the correct cemetery but won't transfer it to me.

Permalink Reply by Patty Wimpsett Killion on March 31, 2010 at 7:30am

OH MY! That is not right! I am so sorry to hear that someone would do that. Now, this is where FAG should come in and tell this person that they must give your great grandparents over to you. Come on FAG do your job so that we can respect you. Let's see up back up the people who are in the right!

This has nothing to do with your problem, Melissa, however I just ran into an odd issue with an RAOK volunteer rep. I had asked for help in locating an obituary for a family ancestor. The volunteer did locate the obit for me. I didn't enter my ancestor with his obit on FAG right a way. But I got to it in a timely manner. When I started to created my page...Guess who had already created the page with the obit on it? The RAOK volunteer who had pulled the obit for me..and it was not just for this ancestor it was for every ancestor I had asked her to pull a obit on. Let me also state this, She didn't even know my ancestors, no way close to being related. So then it put me in a situation that I had to more or less beg for my ancestors page now that was not created before I asked for obituary information. In the real world we call that a conflict of interest. She told me she did it for the family. Exuse me????
Oh well, just wanted to share. The next time you ask a RAOK volunteer for obit help you might ask them NOT to put the information they pulled for you on FAG.

Permalink Reply by Sherry Hightower on April 5, 2010 at 12:37am

I wonder if we can get a petition up to change the policy? I really had no idea the problem was so widespread. I felt I was just being a problem so I fixed it and let it go. Since I have a website and had my grandfather's brother & his wife on my website, I just posted a hyper link where their names are listed.

The father's memorial: Jefferson David "Jep" Wilkinson

Permalink Reply by Patty Wimpsett Killion on April 5, 2010 at 9:29am

I beleive this might be more widespread then we know. I think there are a lot of people who just suffer in silence because they are afraid to cause waves. It just angers me to read some of these contributor's profiles that will not transfer memorial pages to family so the family send them the information to update or correct the data of the family member. The contributor hold their ancestor's in ramsom of their heart so that they can continue to keep their numbers with correct data.
Ohhhh I get so angry!!!!!
I just want to tell you that memorial page is just beautiful !!!!

Permalink Reply by Sherry Hightower on April 7, 2010 at 9:55pm

Thanks Patty.

Yes...I agree with Mestephil, there is hostility and from some of the interactions I have suffered, it was not subtle in the least. I am really disgusted with FAG and have seriously been considering pulling my photos and just leaving the memorial in tact.

Last year I heard in the forums that someone had created another site..findagravestone or something like that...why I don't know but they evidently had had enough of FAG too. I think they copied their memorials, and posted them in their site.

I think this is the site: http://findagravestone.com/

I'll have to check it out...research it a bit.

Mestephil, I think people too lazy or who just aren't into genealogy, see hanging on to the memorials as a "one up" mindset. What really gets me are the ones who post the memorial but who haven't borthered to visit the cemetery to get a picture. I am talking about years later and there still isn't a picture of the headstone.

I run into this all the time, and by the person holding my Uncle's memorial hostage. I live in Houston and traveled 100 miles to photograph the complete cemetery in Hardin Co., TX. It was about 80 headstones.

The William Hart Cemetery (formerly the Providence Cemetery)

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